Insight Isn’t Enough — Therapy Is About Action
“I understand why I do it… so why can’t I stop?”
If you’ve ever said that in or out of therapy, you’re not alone. A lot of people come into therapy thinking the goal is to understand themselves. And don’t get us wrong—self-awareness is huge. Understanding where your patterns come from, why certain things trigger you, how your past shaped your present? That’s powerful stuff.
But insight alone doesn’t change your life.
Action does.
And one of the most frustrating parts of growth is realizing that knowing better doesn’t automatically mean doing better.
Why Insight Feels So Satisfying
When you have a breakthrough—realizing, for instance, that your people-pleasing comes from childhood survival strategies—it feels like progress. And it is. Finally, something makes sense.
The brain loves that. It loves naming things. It feels in control.
But then you go back to work, someone asks you to do something unreasonable, and you say yes before you even think about it. And afterward, you’re left wondering: Did that insight even matter?
The answer is: yes… but it’s only part of the work.
The Gap Between Knowing and Changing
Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Insight doesn’t erase your nervous system’s habits.
It doesn’t rewrite your muscle memory.
It doesn’t override years of reinforcement overnight.
That takes repetition. Practice. Support. Willingness to feel discomfort on purpose—because that’s what growth demands.
And therapy is one of the only places designed to hold that kind of discomfort gently, without judgment. We don’t just help you understand what’s going on. We help you build the muscles to live differently.
What That Looks Like in Real Life
You don’t just say, “I have an anxious attachment style.”
You practice what it’s like to pause before the 12th check-in text.
You sit in the discomfort of not reaching out—and learn that you survive it.
You don’t just realize, “My perfectionism comes from fear.”
You test what happens when you send the email without rereading it four times.
You learn that your worth isn’t determined by your flawlessness.
Therapy becomes less about insight for its own sake, and more about translating insight into action—one small, brave step at a time.
This Work Isn’t Linear, and That’s Not a Problem
You will repeat patterns. You’ll know better and still fall into old habits sometimes. That doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working. It means you’re human.
Progress often looks like:
- Catching yourself one minute sooner
- Setting the boundary with a shaky voice
- Choosing a new response after the old one already started
And over time, those small shifts become your new baseline. Not because you learned a magic trick—but because you practiced a new way of being, one uncomfortable rep at a time.
Ready to Do Something With What You Know?
At Sandstone Therapy, we believe therapy should lead somewhere. Not to perfection. But to more freedom, more clarity, more choice.
If you already know what’s not working, and you’re tired of just understanding it—we can help you start doing something different.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to be willing to move.
Reach out here. Let’s take the next step together.
Author: Bodie Coates, LMFT-S, LCADC-S, NCC
Sandstone Therapy 