You’re Not Lazy — You’re Probably Just Overwhelmed
Let’s get something straight: laziness is almost never the real issue. When people tell me they feel “lazy,” it’s almost always a cover for something else — stress, exhaustion, executive dysfunction, depression, fear, trauma, or just plain burnout. And calling yourself lazy doesn’t make it better. It just adds shame to an already overloaded system.
We live in a world that treats rest as a reward and hyper-productivity as a moral virtue. That’s a problem. Especially when you’re someone who wants to show up fully, but can’t seem to find the energy or focus to do it.
What if “lazy” is your nervous system’s way of saying, “Please, slow down. I’m drowning here”?
The Invisible Weight You’re Carrying
Let’s talk about the mental load. Even if you’re not consciously thinking about it, your brain might be juggling dozens of invisible tasks at once — bills, emails, unreturned texts, what to make for dinner, how your partner is doing emotionally, whether you’re failing at parenting, how many notifications are on your phone…
It’s a lot.
That kind of pressure doesn’t always look like anxiety. Sometimes, it looks like scrolling your phone for an hour instead of replying to a simple email. Or sitting in your car outside your house, knowing you should go inside, but unable to move.
And if you’re feeling that, you’re not broken. You’re responding — understandably — to a life that’s become too much.
Why Self-Criticism Doesn’t Work (And What Might)
Here’s the kicker: calling yourself lazy doesn’t get you moving. It freezes you more. Shame isn’t motivating — it’s paralyzing.
Instead of asking, “Why can’t I just do this?”, try asking:
- “What’s in the way?”
- “What do I need right now?”
- “Is this task actually as simple as I’m pretending it is?”
You might find that what looks like a five-minute task is sitting on top of a mountain of emotional labor. And it’s okay to take that seriously.
Tiny Shifts That Can Help
You don’t need a productivity overhaul. You need a little space, a little compassion, and maybe one doable action to build momentum.
Try this:
- Pick the smallest possible task (like opening the email app).
- Set a timer for five minutes and only commit to that.
- Celebrate it — yes, seriously. You did something.
It’s not about becoming a machine. It’s about reconnecting with your own rhythm, instead of bullying yourself into productivity.
You Deserve Rest and Progress
Rest is not the opposite of progress. Sometimes rest is the progress.
If you’re overwhelmed, your body and mind aren’t betraying you — they’re trying to survive. Maybe instead of asking, “How can I be more productive?” the better question is, “What would it take to feel more human right now?”
You’re allowed to go at your own pace. You’re allowed to need a break. And you’re allowed to stop calling yourself names just because the world doesn’t understand your capacity today.
Internal Link Suggestions (distributed):
- For more on handling stress, check out What If Anxiety Isn’t the Problem?
- Struggling with high expectations? Mental Health Is Not a Luxury might help.
- Want to build a healthier relationship with yourself? Read You Don’t Have to Fix Everything to Be at Peace.
- And finally, if you’re feeling stuck, always feel free to reach out.
Author: Bodie Coates, LMFT-S, LCADC-S, NCC
Sandstone Therapy 